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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"I'm Such a Laaddyy......"

I've been out of the dating seen for quite a while. My divorce was finalized in 2006 and to my surprise, I didn't jump right into the dating pool. But I knew that in time, I would have to get out there and just do it. Not to my surprise, I realized that the dating scene had changed, the rules of engagement had changed drasctically. Women are more aggressive, more people are interested in just casual dating and not long term commitments, and no one is really just meeting the old fashioned way....face to face. Seems like everything is dependent on speed dating or online.

So I tried the online dating thing. LOL! I went to an online dating site, filled out my profile, honestly, posted a cute pic and waited to be pursued....and waited....and waited some more. Errrrr!!! Pump the brakes.....what had happened? I began to check out other peoples profiles. Then it hit me.....you have to embellish yourself a lil and keep some things secret in order to get any attention!! I made a few creative changes and the messages started flowing in. Much to my dismay...none were worth keeping!  Back to the drawing board or should I say waiting room I went.

Time passed and still no dates for Ithaca....guess I was holding on to this "old fashioned" dating thing a lil too hard. But I refused to loose hope that God would "let my man find me and pursue me, properly". Well the devil stepped in and sent some guys to "pursue" me. They approached, showed some interest, and seemed like they were on the same page as me, at least in the same chapter of the book. I found that to be a lie from the pit of hell!!! Therefore, I am still waiting.......

Women have diluted themselves so that there are guys out there that don't know what it is to really "pursue" a woman because they don't have to. I found that "pursue" is defined as: to follow in order to overtake or capture; chase. To follow. To strive for. To continue to annoy (LOL). Synonyms of pursue are: seek, track down, search for, search out, stalk (lol), run after, go after, and scout out. The electronic age has destroyed communication and real personal involvement so it's almost as if men don't believe that they really have to "pursue" a woman. Not to mention that most women pursue men nowadays anyway. I was approached by and gave five (5) guys my cell phone number, four of the guys (won't call them men...they aren't quite ready for that BIG word just yet) texted me and considered that communicating and getting to know me. They also took offense when I didn't want things to go any further than where they were. (Now I'm the stuck up chick!! Go Figure) Only one (1) was man enough to actually call me, on a regular, consistant basis and even said that he wasn't fond of texting and email communication. That one didn't work out....but that's a different story.

One of my favorite sitcoms from the 90's was "Martin". Sheneneh Jenkins was a true character....but she kept it 100 all the time. One of her famous tag lines was "I'm such a Laaddyy". She would use it anytime you got her twisted and tried to treat her less than a lady. Sheneneh refused to be disrespected and you would do things her way or just walk away and say goodbye. I am having a Sheneneh moment....I am a Lady and I expect to be pursued as such. I expect a man to show me that he is interested, pick up the phone (the old fashioned way) and have a conversation with me, show me that I am, somewhat,  important to you. You can't get to know my heart and spirit if all you do is text me. There are no Brownie points awarded for knowing how to text and make cute smiley faces at the end of your comments. Just as with anything, there is a time and place for everything, and texting is not at the top of the list for pursuing me.

Luv Ya!!
IB

1 comment:

  1. So True! We must stand our ground and demand what Aretha sang about R-E-S-P-E-C-T! If you accept mediocracy in the beginning then that is what you will always get. The Bible says when a "man findeth" a woman he finds a good thing. Not when a woman finds a man.

    My husband of 9 months pursued me across the country! We met on a ski trip and lived on opposite sides of the US. The telephone calls we shared daily while getting to know each other as friends and then while dating was the foundation of the great communication we share today as man & wife. Although we both what society label as "middle-aged" both over 40, my husband found it proper to fly to FL (granted I lived in Baltimore, MD) to discuss his intentions on asking me to be his wife with my mom & my grown daughter and get their blessing before he even proposed to me.

    So I told you this about us to say, don't give up! There are some "real men" left in this world. He will find you when "He" is ready for him to.

    Stay blessed and I love you Sister Friend!

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