DIAGNOSTIC CHECK

My challenge with low self esteem and depression starts, just prior to my experience with my now ex-husband. I had allowed my self to believe that no one would want to or ask me to marry them because of my past actions and my escalating age. I was only 26 at that time. I created unreal boundaries for myself - an invisible fence, like one they use to train dogs or keep wild animals from crossing over onto your property, that kept the real me out of my own thoughts. I had lost my hope, given up and lost focus on God's promises for me. I forgot that God can do anything!! That His word says He will do exceedingly and abundantly above all I can ask and or think!! (my version,  Ephesians 3:20)

So, I chose my ex-husband and settled for anything. When I think about it, that's usually how we do it. We get impatient during the processing. We loose hope in God and ourselves and settle for less than what we deserve. We leave, not a crack, but the door wide open for the enemy, which is usually the inner me, to come in and alter our thoughts in a negative way. But we have to realize that when we do that, there is great room for a lot of error. If God doesn't do it, it won't work right for very long and usually needs a lot of tedious maintenance along the way before it completely breaks down.

Experiences like this make me think of having your car repaired. We have so many options for this...do it yourself, let a friend do it, take it to the shade tree mechanic, or taking it back to the dealer. We like to use the shade tree mechanic cause he's cheaper and usually quicker than going to the dealership. Most people don't like taking it to the dealer because it seems that he charges too much for his services and works slower, but he also is the only one that gives you a guarantee for his work. The dealer also has more extensive diagnostic equipment that you and the shade tree mechanic don't have. So the dealer is able to find the root cause of your problem, rather than fixing what you think is the problem only to find that, "that's not it". Now you have to spend more money and waste time getting your car repaired, again.

In our lives, we all have "shade tree mechanics". Yours may be your parent(s),  sibling(s), spouse, friends, co-workers, acquaintances on Face Book and Twitter, or even yourself. You go to everyone to try and fix you. Why? Because we don't always like process and repairing yourself requires process. It's usually a long process (or so we think), somewhat painful, and often lonely. But our Dealer, God, is the only one who has the "diagnostic equipment" to see the root of your challenges and can fix you correctly. Stop being afraid of taking your issues and challenges to Him for repair. And just like you do with your car, leave them there so God can fix them. Trust that if He removes someone or something that it will only make you better! You do have a race to run, and it's easier when you are in your best shape.

Regain your hope in God and yourself. You are called to greatness!! Stop your low level thinking about yourself and what God wants for you. Open your mind to endless, countless possibilities. If God says it is in your future, take Him at His word. Don't let anyone, not even yourself, talk you out of what God has said about you and your future. Leave your past where it is and look ahead to the wonderful future that God created just for you. Yes, He loves you just that much! No matter what you have done in your past can make Him turn His back on you. He hung out with some bad boys, so there is nothing that you have done that shocks Him, upsets Him to the point of disowning you, or most importantly, makes Him change His mind about what He has planned just for you.

Luv Ya!!
IB